Tuesday, August 16, 2011


Sometimes I wish certain scenes in certain movies turned out differently. Although I can't remake a movie, I CAN rewrite the scene according to how I would like to see it. Tonight I'll rewrite the famous ending scene of Dirty Dancing so that it fits more accurately to real life. This is MY take on the famous, "nobody puts baby in a corner," line.

*Patrick Swayze enters and marches up to the Houseman table*

Jonny: "Nobody puts baby in a corner.........come on."

Jake: "WO, WAIT A MINUTE....excuse me?? EXCUSE ME??? Nobody puts baby in a corner?? Who the hell do you think you are marching in here like this and just declaring who does what to my daughter?? I'M HER FATHER!!! I'll put her where I damn well please, ESPECIALLY IN A CORNER! She is only 17, she isn't even legal! I'm a rich doctor and you're clearly a pedophile, need I remind you that YOU have already been fired from this cheap ass resort and I could have you escorted off these premises?"

*Jonny clenches his fists and stares with a furious rage as Jake gets up from the table*

Jonny: "You don't realize that your daughter is just trying to rebel against you because you are so damn stuffy that you're controlling every part of her life!"

Jake: "NO SHIT SHERLOCK! I'm her father! She is a stupid teenager, no 17 year old knows whats best for them even though they all think they do! By the way, I am a DOCTOR, I think I made some pretty good decisions in my life time, so don't sit here and tell me how to raise my daughter, it's none of your damn business! You don't even have a job! The crappy job you did have, BEFORE I GOT YOUR ASS FIRED, was just some lame dance instructor at a summer resort, big money in that! God you're stupid. .........What's the matter Jonny, you look like you want to HIT ME? Is that what you're gonna do big man? Hit a snooty old guy in the face? I hope you do, you little snot nosed prick, then I can press charges against you, get a restraining order on you and while I'm at get you on statutory rape charges because MY DAUGHTER IS UNDER AGE!"

*Jonny looks at Baby*

Jonny: "You're not worth it, what am I thinking?? You're only 17 years old....."


Jonny: "Love? I just met you a few weeks ago, damn you're needy. You know what...I'm sorry Dr. Houseman, you're right, I'll leave your daughter alone."

Jake: "You're damn right you will. And as for YOU, you get your little slut ass in the car, we're leaving before any members of the kitchen staff take a shot at you."


Jake: "Oh please, cry me a river, you're just an emotional teenager that has mistaken puppy love for the real thing, trust me sweety, I'm your father and I care about you, this jerk is no good for you, I mean come on, Jonny Castle??? I doubt thats even his real name! This is all for your own good."

Jonny: You haven't seen the last of me!!!

Jake: "Give it a rest Jonny, if I catch you near my daughter again I'll make sure you get more than fired, I'll make sure you go to jail which is where you should be right now anyways. I'm still disgusted that you two tricked me into paying for that botched abortion but I'll let that slide as long as you never come near my family again, NOW GET IN THE CAR."


1 comment:

Unknown said...

this has got to be the best thing i've read about this movie lol...clearly a pedofile hahahaha