Thursday, August 18, 2011

Interview with a clown

You know many of us hate clowns. They aren't funny, they aren't cute, and in some cases they are down right terrifying. So I had to find out why clowns choose to be clowns or isn't something they choose? I sat down with a real live clown to find the answers YOU all want to know.

Andrew: Hello, please have a seat mr.......?
Clown: Chuckles, my name is Chuckles! *annoying clown laugh*
Andrew: Please don't do that again.
Clown: Oh come on! Its funny, I'm a silly guy!
Andrew: That's your opinion. Now for the questions. Mr. Chuckles, tell me, what on earth possessed you to become a clown? One of the top most hated AND feared creatures on this planet?
Clown: Well....when you put it like that......Look, I enjoy making people laugh, and I love to see kids smile, as a clown, I can do both of those things!
Andrew: Really? Do you realize you also FRIGHTEN small children and the elderly?
Clown: Only a small percentage of people are afraid of clowns Andrew.
Andrew: I doubt that stat Mr. Clown, in fact can any of us name ANYONE that even likes clowns?? Hell, I'd even say CAN STAND clowns?
Clown: Ronald McDonald. Need I say more?
Andrew: Oh those kids don't go for the clown, they go for the cheap toys and bad food and you know it. But the real question is, why the make up? Are you hiding from something?
Clown: The face paint makes us look funny and happy, its all for the fun of it!
Andrew: I see the hidden painted up face of a KILLER.
Clown: Hey now....there is no reason for that, one movie was made where a clown was the killer and we are all looked down upon for it, that's not fair.
Andrew: So then why all the bright big stupid looking clothes? Is a painted face and big colorful wig not enough of an attention getter that you have to also make up special clothes too?
Clown: Again, it's all for fun, I don't see why I have to defend myself here, I'm not on trial.
Andrew: Not yet you're not but with pants that big somebody could easily hide A MURDER WEAPON IN THEM!!! AH HA! ADMIT IT!
Clown: I have no idea what you're talking about and quite frankly I think you need help.
Andrew: Is that a threat??? Did we get that? Him threatening me??
Clown: This interview is over! I'm out of here jackass.
Andrew: Run away from your problems, just like a mime.
Clown: go too far with that one sir...........
Andrew: Well the clown is now a sad clown and he is leaving. But behind the make up and the red nose and the afro wig and the big stupid pants and the over sized novelty shoes there beats the heart of a confused individual, and a cold blooded murder as well. Clowns give us absolutely no reason to like them or even keep them around and cockroaches, they just won't go away. Maybe someday society will stand up to these colorful bastards and force them back into the wild but in the meantime we will have to sleep with one eye open, but that's my two cents.

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