Thursday, March 27, 2014


Just because you live in Dallas doesn't mean you live in Texas. It may also shock you that there is a Steelerless Pittsburg out there. I have noticed there are some areas, towns, and cities here (Texas) that have the same namse as places back in Pennsylvania. I have made a list of all the places that share the same name. Some of these may surprise you as they did me.  (Some spellings differ)

Dallas, TX                           Dallas, PA
Pittsburg, TX                     Pittsburgh, PA
Lancaster, TX                    Lancaster, PA
Somerset, TX                     Somerset, PA
Carrllton, TX                     Carrolltown, PA (pronounced same)
Bedford TX,                        Bedford, PA
Cresson, TX                        Cresson, PA
Duncansville, TX              Duncansville, PA
Bridgeport, TX                  Bridgeport, PA
Huntington, TX                 Huntington, PA
Shenandoah, TX               Shenandoah, PA
Lewisville, TX                    Lewisville, PA
Mansfield, TX                    Mansfield, PA
Mt. Pleasant, TX               Mt. Pleasant, PA
Nazareth, TX                      Nazareth, TX
Montgomery, TX              Montgomery, PA
Canton, TX                         Canton, PA
Troy, TX                              Troy, PA
Liberty, TX                         Liberty, PA
Fairfield, TX                      Fairfield, PA
Clarksville, TX                  Clarksville, PA
Decatur, TX                       Decatur, PA
Easton, TX                         Easton, PA
Linden, TX                         Linden, PA
Florence, TX                     Florence, PA
Greenville, TX                  Greenville, PA
Rockport, TX                    Rockport, PA
Weston, TX                       Weston, PA
Yorktown, TX                  Yorktown, PA
Athens, TX                        Athens, PA
Bellville, TX                      Belleville, PA
Centerville, TX                Centerville, PA
Forest Hill, TX                 Forest Hills, PA

As you can see, there are some pretty similar names but they are very different places. Maybe people were lazy or just unoriginal?

Wednesday, March 26, 2014


The forest moon of Endor. This seems like a great place to live, the scariest things on it are Ewoks so there is no real sense of danger. I lived most of my life in the forest state of Pennsylvania so I feel a transition to Endor's forest moon would be pretty simple, it's practically the same place. If you ever had a tree house growing up as I did, then you know how cool it would be to live in a tree house community! Besides all that, Ewoks really know how to party. 

Duckburg, perfect place for race cars, lasers, and aeroplanes, it's a duck blur. Might solve a mystery, or rewrite history, in Duckburg! With Uncle Scrooge's money bin as a beautiful backdrop, I would love living in this thriving city of cartoon animals! Plus the city is protected by Gizmo-duck and that is something that would help me sleep at night.

The ice planet of Hoth. Now HERE is a place that an Alaskan such as myself can really enjoy! The frozen icy wasteland would make a perfect home for me. Nothing but snow for as far as the eye can see! I would get some sled dogs, build myself an igloo, establish a rebel base, and I'm all set! How romantic would a one horse open sleigh ride through the ice fields be?? Every Christmas would be a white Christmas....think about it.

In contrast, I would NOT like to live on Tatooine. Nothing but hot blowing desert sand, moisture farms, dune seas, and controlled by gangsters makes this two sun having planet a no-go for me! Sand would get in your food and your underwear and little creatures would constantly be trying to steal your droids or speeders not to mention one of the universe's worst villains ever was born there. Two suns??!! Can you imagine two suns!?!? Forget that place. These are my own opinions but I'd like to point out that Luke Skywalker agrees with me.

Ask me if I'd like to live in the Emerald City, go ahead! Let me remind you of the information you can gather from the lyrics the citizens of Emerald City sang to Dorothy and her friends. "We get up at twelve, start to work by one, take an hour for lunch, and by two we're done." Are you serious?? I can totally get in on that shit. That happy lazy attitude makes the Emerald City in the land of Oz my number one destination! Plus it's ruled by a great and powerful wizard, has a massive protective wall with a guard, horses that can change color, and NO witches! Also I like green. Punch my ticket now! 

The Shire in Middle Earth. Now where else can you find a place as peaceful and laid back as this? A nice green sunny place to sit around and eat several breakfasts where nothing exciting ever happens, sounds just perfect to me. Love the round doors and gardens as well. Everyone is related to each other just like a Southern redneck town so you know you'll have decent neighbors. Ah yes, the Shire is definitely a place I could call home. 

Once they kick me out of the Shire, I'd try to find an apartment in downtown Rivendell! Talk about a classy place! Look at the craftsmanship on these buildings! Elves give a lot of attention to detail, and it shows! Getting in may be a bit difficult if you're not an elf, (my only flaw as a human btw). It's more of a gated community and I assume they screen their residents. 

The planet of Thundera would have been a great place to live! Such a perfect climate that clothes were not needed. The Eye of Thundera, the source of the Thundercat's powers, slept peacefully and unneeded, as there was no evil on the entire planet! Protected by Jaga the wise and ruled by the great King Clawdus, and his son, the next Lord of the Thundercats, Lion-o, things looked bright for this Utopia. BUT it exploded in the first episode of Thundercats, making its inhabitants wondering refugees in search of a new planet. Really sucks. 

Planet Arus always looked like a nice place to me. I know King Zarkon laid waste to this peaceful planet full of the top scientsts in our galaxy but luckily for me the Voltron Force and Princess Allura helped to bring back Voltron! I'm sure I could get a job working in the castle of lions or something. Besides, having the defender of the universe parked in your driveway makes a guy feel safe to walk down the street!

Gotham City, a place that comes with the protection of Batman yes, but when you really stop and think about it, this place SUCKS! Don't even bother considering this city as a place to go, the thought of Batman may be comforting at first, but then think about all the criminals that call Gotham home. The Penguin, The Riddler, The Joker, Catwoman, Poison Ivy, Bane, Mr. Freeze, Two-Face, The Scarecrow, major crime bosses, a corrupted city government and a gangster controlled police force, the list goes on. Sure Batman has been doing a pretty good job so far but at the end of the day he's just a guy in a suit and that's not good enough for this crime infested dump.

To my shock and horror, I found out Hazzard County Georgia does not exist, and no matter how much wishing I did, it never became a real place. I would really consider calling Hazzard home! It's quiet there, people get along, sure there is a corrupted local government but unless your last name is Duke, they seem to leave you alone for the most part. I would get a little farm on the outskirts of town and drive my Dodge Charger around all day and then head to the Boar's Nest bar for a beer to end my day. (Really planned for this to be my life when I was 5 years old)

When the cartoon He-man ended, the company needed a new series and they created Bravestarr. Oddly enough, it takes place on Planet Texas. It was pretty much a space version of Texas and since I live in Texas now and the only difference would be lasers and talking robotic half haman/half horses, I think I would fit in pretty well.  

The Planet of the Apes doesn't sound so bad, I mean if you can get past all the crap flinging that probably goes on there and all the discrimination and racial profiling you'd receive for just being a human. Wait a minute......statue of Liberty.....that was OUR PLANET! YOU MANIACS, YOU BLEW IT UP, DAMN YOU, DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!! *cries*

Out of every place I can think of, the most logical place for me to live would be planet Vulcan.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014


We now have definitive evidence to prove that Bigfoot himself accompanied Lewis and Clark on their famous expedition to the Pacific Northwest after the Louisiana Purchase! Below are a few excerpts taken from the Captain's Log of Meriweather Lewis!

December 20, 1804

We have made friends with a local Shoshone woman named Sacagawea, she has pledged her aid to our expedition. Her hairy husband is not as friendly, he calls himself Bigfoot. He does not appear to be an Indian like Sacagawea, in fact it is uncertain what kind of man he truly is, other than disgusting and vile. Bigfoot's offensive odor can best be described as the very bottom of the deepest out-house. He claims he married Sacagawea after her first husband, a French-Canadian fur trapper, was found dead from apparently repeatedly falling onto a tomahawk. This Bigfoot man has agreed to accompany us in our Journey and although we strongly urged him to stay behind with his pregnant Indian wife, he told us, "she'd be fine to travel across the country while barefoot and pregnant."

January 9, 1805

Sacagawea went into labor. Bigfoot started to say it wasn't his and he had never seen Sacagawea before in his life. Bigfoot got distracted from the labor once he smelled our food cooking. Bigfoot ate all of it and demanded more but we explained he has eaten all of our food supply for the entire trip. Bigfoot said he would never apologize for being an emotional eater. The only thing we saved was milk for the new baby, Bigfoot drank it all and then commented that he has had better. He claimed he was testing it for poison because he cared about the new baby's safety and he was a hero for it. 

April 13, 1805

Bigfoot has decided to lead our expedition even though we all told him no. Bigfoot made a strong argument to the others that a man with a sissy name such as Meriweather, could never be a good leader. We voted and I lost by one vote. Bigfoot said the baby gets a vote and he knew the baby would vote for him. We have been lost for weeks now and saw a sign for Washington D.C. When seeing the sign, Bigfoot said he knows where we are now and just had to get his barrings. He then turned around and headed back the way we had just come.

July 3, 1806

Clark and I have decided to split the corps in two so we can explore the continental divide and meet up on the other side. We fought for hours over who would have to take Bigfoot with their crew. Clark lost and threw a hissy fit and begged me to take Bigfoot, however I am not a fool and I refuse to take that jerk with me. Bigfoot also began calling this the, "Bigfoot and Lewis and Clark Expedition." This greatly upsets Clark and they have had many arguments over this topic. One ended with Bigfoot running off crying into the woods. The next day Clark's horse was mysteriously found dead. Bigfoot laughed and told Clark it was really going to suck having to walk the rest of the way.

August 11, 1806

We have met up with Clark's half of the group at the Yellowstone river but my dear friend Clark is not with them. Bigfoot said they had some technical difficulties. Bigfoot had a hard time recalling exactly what happened and who Clark even was. I am sorry that I have lost my dear friend and a fine soldier in William Clark. Suspiciously, Bigfoot said,  "Can we be called Bigfoot and Lewis, now that Clark has been killed in his sleep by a big rock.....or however it was he died that I obviously
don't know anything about or am responsible for."

August 12, 1806

I have been wounded. Bigfoot went out hunting saying we needed more Elk meat because he was all out of jerky. He shot me right in the ass! He did apologize for mistaking me for an elk but then made an insensitive joke about going out to shoot an elk but only being able to shoot a jackass. I sincerely dislike this Bigfoot person.

March 22, 1807

Success! We have finally reached the Pacific Ocean! Bigfoot can finally stop his daily question of, "Are we there yet?" When we reached our destination Bigfoot began to claim everything as his own. He said we were standing in the state of Califorifoot and in Orange County, and we were looking at the Bigfoot Ocean. He then said there was a visitor's tax. We will head home tomorrow but I can't imagine the return trip with this idiot. Then I realized, I had forgotten all about Sacagawea and asked Bigfoot whatever happened to her and her baby. Bigfoot's eyes got huge and he just shrugged his shoulders.

Monday, March 24, 2014


A newly discovered secret diary belonging to Thomas Jefferson proves that Bigfoot exists! He also was in Philadelphia and part of the continental congress! 

July 1, 1776

Dear Diary,
John Adams, Ben Franklin, and I have finished the final copy of what we call, The Declaration of Independence. We worked very hard on it and presented it to the continental congress. There are some among us who do not agree with our declaration. One such fellow is a massive hairy man that calls himself Bigfoot. No one seems to know which state Bigfoot is from either as he says, "it's that one you know, from over down the up way, right by that other state place thingy."  He stinks worse than if a skunk crapped his pantaloons, sat in it for a few days, and then rolled in garbage, .....being the hot month of July does not help either. Bigfoot flipped through the final version of the declaration and threw it on the table and demanded we do it again. He then refused to hear our reasoning for the contents and walked out of the meeting stating that he was going to go find Samuel Adams so they could go invent beer. 

July 2, 1776

Dear Diary,
Bigfoot entered his own Declaration of Independence for consideration, which he named, "The Kick-Ass, Britain Sucks, Declaration of War." No one agrees with his backward principles, upside down philosophy, and gross rhetoric. Ben Franklin pointed out that it clearly made Bigfoot king of America and all of us his slaves if we were to sign it. Bigfoot just rolled his eyes and mocked him saying Ben wanted to be king of America and that he was a bald fat idiot who was just jealous that he didn't come up with the idea first. Ben smiled and calmly stated that, "a great fool opens his mouth and proves it." As Bigfoot got up to leave, he told Ben Franklin to go fly a kite in a thunderstorm and see what happens. He walked out of Independence Hall again, leaving us to wait another day to sign our declaration.

July 3, 1776

Dear Diary,
John Hancock has refused to sign our Declaration of Independence. He claims it will destroy the colonies and force the British Empire to crush us into oblivion. Bigfoot found this statement to be hilarious as he laughed so hard he pissed himself. Bigfoot also giggles every time someone says the name, John Hancock. Before John Hancock walked out, he stated that IF he were to sign it, the King would need his spectacles just to read his name. Bigfoot told us we were all better off without him and to go ahead and just sign the stupid thing already because he had a bald eagle in the oven and couldn't wait any longer. This caused a great uproar and we again adjourned without signing. 

July 4, 1776

Dear Diary, 
We all finally agreed to sign the Declaration of Independence, which Bigfoot refers to as our, "Declaration of a Death Sentence." Bigfoot wanted to point out how strong the British empire was, despite how gay they all appear. Bigfoot did get in line to sign it but in the very back. Each time someone took the plume to sign, Bigfoot would yell from the back such things as, DON'T DO IT MORON, or NO! or STOP! or YOU'LL BE SORRY! or BIGGER MISTAKE THAN THE ONE YOUR MOTHER MADE WITH ME LAST NIGHT! John Hancock was second to last in line but when it was finally his turn he couldn't bring himself to do it, he apologized and walked out. Then it was Bigfoot's turn, he said he now sees it our way and didn't see the real harm in starting a war with the most powerful country on earth. Upon review of the signatures, Bigfoot's could not be found. We did, oddly enough, find a forged John Hancock signature, very large and in the middle of the page. 

July 5, 1776 

Dear Diary,
Bigfoot came to my house today to see if we would change our minds about sending the Declaration of Independence. I told him it was done and we must all stand in the face of tyranny. Bigfoot asked if he could possibly just sit down and off to the side of tyranny but I reassured him this is what we must do. Bigfoot asked if I would reconsider sending his version along with ours, I declined.  Bigfoot said the only thing that will be free is our heads from our bodies when the British troops come to kill us for our treason. Bigfoot then questioned why a man with so many slaves would claim that, "All men are created equal." I had Toby throw him out. 

Friday, March 21, 2014


If you're my age or older you may remember these two cartoon series. Both were very similar and it's no wonder, they were made by the same people. Both were pretty good but I found one to be better. Both were Japanese animation and in the early 80's I was no stranger to English dubbed cartoons from Japan.

Super Book was first. It was about a book, (a super version of the Bible) that sucked in our characters to a far off land, the land of the Old Testament of the Bible. The boy and girl characters, Chris and Joy, went through the stories of the Bible meeting famous people such as Adam and Eve, King David, and Joseph until they eventually make it back home and the series ended. They also had a toy robot named Gizmo that got sucked into the book as well. 

Super Book II came out shortly after and the story continues two years later, this time the book falls onto the keyboard of a computer, causing it to create an alternate virtual universe where the Bible is real and can be watched on the computer. Apparently that stuff happened with computers all the time in the early 80's. It also sucks in Chris' little cousin and his dog. Chris and his dog and their robot friend Gizmo go through the Old Testament as Chris and Joy watch the events unfold. They are able to communicate through the use of the computer inside Gizmo's chest. The series ended on the day I turned one year old, September 26 1983.

In between Super Book and Super Book II a new series began that appeared to be ridiculously similar. This time three children and their friend robot are in Bible times. Flying House is about 3 children that were playing outside and come upon a mysterious house, it was storming so they go inside. There they find a scientist (VERY much like Doc Brown from Back to the Future imo) and he explains that he has built a time machine out of a house. The idiot robot messes things up and they are sent flying back in time. This cartoon series takes place in the New Testament and the children actually meet Jesus and his disciples and are there for some famous stories of the Bible. Corky and Angie are brother and sister but Justin is just their friend. 

The problem is, they can't get home and each time the Flying House takes off they are hoping it lands back in the present day, however they continue to leap all over the Bible days. Sound familiar? A scientist that invents a way to travel back in time but can't control where he goes and has no idea where the next jump will be? I'm not saying this idea was stolen by the show Quantum Leap, but wait, yes I am. They made it for adults, made it live-action, dropped the Christian theme and there you have it! Also a good show btw but sorry Scott Bakula, it had already been done! 

The scientist in Flying House, Professor Bumble, was constantly trying to figure out a way to get back home again, but it always bothered me that there was no sense of urgency. It's like, dude, you're trapped 2,000 years in the past with 3 children that don't belong to you, you get your ass in there and you fix that stupid time machine! 

Both were good and both were made by the Christian Broadcasting Network and were usually aired back to back. This could be confusing to a small child, in this case me. Each show had a 52 episode run, which for a cartoon series is pretty impressive considering most people didn't watch these. 

It's pretty easy to admit that Chris and Justin look similar and Joy and Angie look similar and Corky and Uriah look similar but the fact they both have friendly robots? That's just Japan for you, obsessing over robots. 

S.I.R. "Solar Ion Robot"or Sir for short from Flying House seemed to be dumber but he was the more advanced robot. Gizmo from Super Book  had to be wound up to work and was referred to as a toy more than a robot. Gizmo also had a cross on his chest and a computer with a keyboard that he frequently used. Both were friendly and offered sound advice to the kids, often being the voice of reason when no adult was around. Oh and both had a very robotic voice, which is the way a robot should sound. 

Flying House also had a superior theme song that explained the entire plot of the series. Super Book's theme seemed to just be kids yelling out SUPER BOOK a lot. The Flying House theme was catchy and has a great bass slide to start off the lyrics. It still will get in my head to this day. 

Here are some odd things I found about these shows that I have always wondered....

1. Both had robots and no one in Bible times found a robot to be a strange thing. 
2. No one questioned where these kid's parents were the whole time. 
3. No one questioned why these kids were dressed so strange. 
4. Everyone spoke english in Bible times. 
5. Jesus never helped the kids get home. 
6. Whether it be Back to the Future, Flying House, Quantum Leap, Land of the Lost, Flight of the Navigator, and so on, how come time traveling always strands people from their own time???

Seriously why don't we have friendly robots like that yet? At age 3 I was gearing up to have a friend robot as a kid and here we are 30 years later and still no robots that advanced yet! Get with the program  scientists. Oh well, I can still enjoy these two shows but that's just my two cents. 

Thursday, March 20, 2014


Archeologists have uncovered a never before seen log of William Bradford from the first year at famous Plymouth settlement. It tells of the pilgrim's hardships and their encounter with the legendary Bigfoot, proving that Bigfoot exists and that he helped to colonize early America!

November 26, 1621

 We thank God that we have made it here a year and we  plan to have a big celebration with our native friends. It was the idea of a man that calls himself Bigfoot, he claims to have come from England with us but no one remembers seeing him on the Mayflower. He is a hairy individual and has a foul smell that causes us to rub human feces under our noses to relieve us of his odor. Bigfoot says the celebration should be in his honor but we have decided to honor God and thank him for thy bountiful harvest! It was unanimously decided to NOT invite Bigfoot.

November 27, 1621

Bigfoot showed up to our feast and began to pound on the tables demanding food. We told him we would pray to God first and thank him for the food we were about to receive but Bigfoot exclaimed the Gods wouldn't be mad at him if he ate first and that they suggest we all worship him. Outraged by his blasphemous statement, we ordered him to leave at once. He stood up and flipped the table, ruining dinner for all of us. As he walked away he kicked a turkey.

November 28, 1621

Our festivities continue and Bigfoot encouraged us to play a game he invented called Bigfoot Ball. He tore the skin off of our prized hog to make an odd shaped ball. He then divided us into teams and said the game was against the Redskins and New England. He said Bigfoot ball should be played every Giving Thanks Day. We all agree that we will never do this again.  From what we can tell it is just a game invented so he can hit us hard and push us on the ground and run over us. He seems to make up the rules as he goes, there is no way anyone can beat Bigfoot at his own stupid game. 

Bigfoot got angry when he lost the game. Bigfoot, in his rage, picked up the actual Plymouth rock and threw it on some of our pilgrims. He then laughed and stated that we didn't land on Plymouth rock, Plymouth rock landed on us.

November 29 1621 

I have asked Bigfoot to leave our colony. He became very upset and told us that this is exactly why the white man shall never amount to anything in this country and that the Indians here have a long bright future ahead of them. Massasoit, the Native American chief told him he wasn't allowed to join their tribe either. Bigfoot then told the Indians he hopes they get wiped out.  He also called us unoriginal stating that we can't name anything without stealing it first or just adding the word NEW to it. None of us had a good comeback.

November 30, 1621

We were wrong about that Bigfoot fellow. He is a God send. Last night we heard loud noises coming from the edge of the woods, we assumed Bigfoot was just trying to be annoying. Later Bigfoot explained that the noises we heard were from him fighting off 100 hostile Indians single handed that had come to slaughter us and destroy our town. He said he fought them off and risked his own life just to protect our settlement, even though he knows we hate him. He then said there would be no bodies of dead Indians because he dragged them far into the woods as not to attract animals. He also said there wasn't a scratch on him from the fierce battle because he was just that awesome at fighting. The people thanked him and cheered as he said he was now running for King of Plymouth.


This brand new undiscovered secret diary of an unknown soldier fighting for the South in 1863 during the Civil War proves that Bigfoot was real AND that Bigfoot fought for the South in the battle of Gettysburg. 

June 30, 1863

We are marching to Washington and have never been this far north yet, truly are spirits are high and we all know we can win this war between states! A man that calls himself Bigoot told us he knows a short cut to Washington and to follow him. He appears to be lost due to his frequent stops and scratching his head and going back the way we came. He is an odd man, he is hairier than any man I have ever seen before and his feet are massive and the stench about him could force a vulture sitting on a horse carcass to shove its head into the horses butt to avoid the smell of Bigfoot. He wears no shoes but claims he desperately needs a pair and wants to stop off in a little town called Gettysburg, we voted not to go to this Gettysburg but Bigfoot said, too bad.

July 1, 1863

What happens here next only God knows. The Northern army is here and we are facing the gates of Hell itself! Bigfoot led us right into a battle that none of us want to fight in, we are out manned, out gunned, and in unfamiliar territory. The North was unaware of our presence until Bigfoot started to yell antisemitic things at them, shaking his butt in their direction and yelling grotesque things about their mothers. A Northern soldier tried to shoot Bigfoot in the face and the battle started. 

July 2, 1863

I have survived the second day of the battle.  Bigfoot and 5 other men are the only remaining from our regiment. It pains me to admit it but we ran from the enemy although I am alive because of that fact. The second we stopped running to catch our breath, Bigfoot was the first to speak. The first thing he uttered was that the North's uniforms were so much cooler than ours. He then called me a pussy for running away! When I tried to point out that he also ran and was the first to run and pushed others out of his way and even carried a drummer boy as a shield, he still said I was a pussy. 

Bigfoot claimed that he needed to celebrate the 4th of July as he was accustomed. He used over half of our gunpowder making homemade fireworks. Now I fear we don't have enough gunpowder to last us one more day. General Lee questioned the men when he realized someone had violated Traveler, his beloved horse. Bigfoot pointed at me but looked awfully suspicious.

July 3, 1863

We have been reassigned to a new regiment. We were put on the front lines with General Lee himself! Our general gave a heart filled speech that left many of us in tears with pride and loyalty for our gracious leader. Bigfoot rolled his eyes and yelled out, LAME. Right before we were given the charge, Bigfoot leaned over to me and said, you know we're all dead? I do not care for Bigfoot and his negative attitude. During the fight I saw Bigfoot shoot many of our own men, he justified his actions by saying he was confused by grey and blue and to him they are the same color.

General Lee asked someone to carry a letter for him to get reinforcements and that this mission would be the most important in any battle yet, I raised my hand but Bigfoot shoved me out of the way and took the letter himself. I hope Bigfoot can save us all. 

We are clearly able to see Bigfoot on the other side now fighting for the North. They gave him a horse and ranking of General. Through our telescopes we can see him pointing to our position and it is obvious that he is telling them our strategy. I fear we will be unable to win this fight or the war now all because of Bigfoot. Why God chose to curse the earth with Bigfoot, I'll never know.

July 4, 1863

All is lost. We have lost 100's of men and the battle and quite possibly the war. I have been taken prisoner and although my life was spared, I wish it had ended on the battle field. They have put that traitor Bigfoot in charge of the prisoners. I grow tired of his General Lee impressions and his Let's Go Lincoln chants. He continuously states the South sucks. He has made me his personal servant and I have to comb the crap out of his fur every night. I wish I had died in battle at the hands of Bigfoot like so many of my fellow southern brothers.


This diary found at the Alamo from 1836 tells a detailed account of the final days of an unknown soldier. It also seems to shed light on the mystery of Sasquatch as the soldier describes the legendary creature in great detail, providing evidence that not only does Bigfoot exist, but that he was also fighting at the Alamo for America!

Feb. 28

"It appears there is no way out of the Alamo and we are all in for the fight of our lives. There is an odd fellow here from up north yet he is no yankee i ever met. He is big and covered in hair and has a stench about him that could make a pig puke, then stick his face in the puke to try to get the smell out of his nose. At this point we will take all the help we can get, but honestly if he left i really wouldn't care. He invented a game which he calls, crap toss face catch, i dare not describe it for i am a Christian fellow."

March 1

"Bigfoot, as he has been known to be called has a real attitude problem. He made a dummy out of straw that has the likeness of Santa Anna and he took it to the wall so the Mexican army could see it. He then proceeded to pretend to hump it and violate it, this made the Mexicans very angry indeed and they began to shoot at him. One of the bullets caught bigfoot in the ass. We had to hold him back, he was about to charge the entire Mexican army himself! Davey Crockett told us to just let him go but we didnt....perhaps we should have."

March 2

"Bigfoot picked a fight with Jim Bowie, calling his knife a woman's knife for womens work such as cutting flowers. This made Mr. Bowie ever so mad but he accepted bigfoot's challenge. Bigfoot managed to cut a mexican sword in half and said that was his knife. Bigfoot said if he won the bowie knife would be known as the biggie knife. Jim Bowie laughed and cut bigfoot up pretty bad."

March 3

"Bigfoot is really getting on everybody's nerves. Ten days we have been with this idiot and his idiot ways, i often wonder if all northerners are like this. He keeps yelling out, I SEE OUR ARMY COMING TO OUR AID! and when we all cheer and thank God with cries and hugs, bigfoot laughs and says, gotchya! You'd think we would stop falling for that one but when there isnt much hope you tend to believe what you want. Jim Bowie said if he does it one more time, we will have to start referring to his knives as, bigfoot ass knives."

March 4

"Bigfoot took Davey Crockett's coonskin cap and held it up in the air saying Davey could have it back if he would just take it. Davey jumped for it several times but ended up just punching Bigfoot in the crotch, he immidiately dropped the hat and Davey walked away with it. Through tear filled eyes bigfoot said it didnt hurt. We all knew he was lying."

March 5

"We are almost out of ammo and things look bleek. Bigfoot is the most upset by this, he keeps saying we are all dead and there is no way out while waving his hands over his head. Some of the men tried to calm him down but he just beat them up, which is terrible because we need every single man we can get for this battle. Bigfoot also eats more food than anyone else here and so we have stopped feeding him. I dont know if we will make it through the night."

March 6

"I can not believe what just happened. Santa Anna came to surrender to us, we finally had won the battle, he said he no longer wants blood shed of his people and will leave in peace and we can also have the Texas territory as well. At this point bigfoot stood up and yelled at Santa Anna that we wont stop fighting until all the mexicans are dead and he can turn his fat ass around and go back to where he came from, which is hell also known as mexico, he then threw a brick at Santa Anna and it struck his foot. Santa Anna gave the order to attack and their men are currently breaking down our walls, this looks like the end. I saw bigfoot dressed in a dead mexican soilder's uniform running out the back door, leaving it wide open which the mexican army found to be very useful as they sieged the Alamo. This will be my last entry for there is no escape, unless you are bigfoot. As bigfoot ran away Davey Crockett yelled something at him i dare not repeat for i am a Christian man. Farewell to thee all and remember the Alamo, and remember how we all came to die....BIGFOOT."

Friday, March 7, 2014


I already did a blog on my all time favorite cars from movies and TV but there are still so many good ones out there that I thought I'd continue with the next ten as if my list were made up of 20 cars.

So here is a countdown from 20 to 11 of my favorite TV and Movie cars! If you missed the first blog where I counted down my top 10 favorite movie/TV cars, here is a link to it......


This was a great movie about a professional driver that would do anything for the right amount of money and his vehicle of choice was the BMW 735i. (The car they used in most scenes was actually a 750 with a V12 but in the movie they say its a 735i)  The transporter got himself into trouble and used this awesome car as his get away. Jason Statham is a kick-ass kind of guy and he needs a kick-ass kind of car, and this one really fit the bill. Refined and elegant but with power and speed, a really good combination for this character's ride.


"Burn Notice" on the USA network is an Ok show but has an awesome car, a 1973 Dodge Charger. It may be a 1974 Dodge Charger, no one seems to know, the two years are extremely similar and I own a black 1974, which is why I was drawn to this show. I really only watch the show for the Charger and it's true that the last generation of the muscle car era Chargers get little respect, so it was surprising, yet refreshing to see one featured on a TV show. In my opinion this show should have had more scenes with the Charger.


"Inspector Gadget" was one of my favorite cartoons as a kid and I always loved his Gadgetmobile. Unlike other cars or vehicles, the Gadgetmobile was really two cars in one. It was usually a van-type thing that he would drive around in, just to get from point A to point B. When Inspector Gadget needed to get somewhere fast or just wanted to be cooler, his van would transform into a speedy police vehicle, a pretty ingenious idea for the show considering Inspector Gadget himself was full of gadgets and useful little robotic parts. Just watch the opening sequence to Inspector Gadget and you'll see the Gadgetmobile transform. 

17.  1980  FERRARI 308 GTS FROM MAGNUM P.I. 

Magnum was a private investigator that lived in Hawaii and got to stay in a mansion for free and drive around an awesome Ferrari whenever he wanted. He didn't own the car or the house but that was part of the deal for his job....what a life.  I liked this show growing up but the part that always had me glued to the TV screen was during the opening credits when Magnum could be seen peeling out in his awesome red Ferrari and speeding all over Hawaii. It was the perfect car for this setting and this character and being the number one show on television, (an impressive feat considering it was the show that replaced Miami Vice), I'm sure it was a help to boost Ferrari sales here in the US. 

16.  1970 Dodge Challenger R/T  FROM VANISHING POINT 

Being paid to deliver a Dodge Challenger would be a pretty cool job and that's what Kowalski gets to do in the movie, "Vanishing Point." As usual the "man" won't let people have a good time and soon Kowalski finds himself in a cross country man-hunt car chase, the only problem is, that the police didn't count on chasing a man with nothing left to live for. There are some GREAT scenes of the Challenger racing across desert highways in this movie. I really suggest this movie for car lovers but especially for MOPAR lovers. Also I find white to be a very boring color for a car but honestly it really was a wonderful choice for this car in this movie. 


"The Fall Guy," a very underrated  and almost forgotten show. I loved this show. Lee Majors plays a Hollywood stunt man that always seems to end up having to help solve a crime. He had an awesome truck and it stood out to me as a kid because I liked cars much more than trucks but this one ALWAYS got my attention. It was loud, had huge wheels, and a lot of cool features besides that he was always jumping stuff with it. Trucks didn't always get a lot of recognition in the 80's but this truck deserves some credit for being such an awesome ride.


The Duke boys had the General Lee and Daisy had a jeep named Dixie, and why not? After all, Bo and Luke wrecked Daisy's first car, a Plymouth Roadrunner and she was given a white Golden Eagle edition Jeep CJ-7 named "Dixie" as a gift. Daisy tore up the roads of Hazzard county in her white Jeep as she fought the law and corrupted local government. I love Jeeps, they are so unique but for years I always thought of Jeeps as a girl's car just because I always associated them with Daisy Duke. Clearly Jeeps aren't just for girls but Daisy's Jeep fit her as perfect as her Daisy Dukes.


Bullitt isn't that good of a movie to be honest with you but it is totally worth watching just for the chase scene that is regarded as one of the best in any movie ever made. No special effects either, that's what impressed me about the chase scene. 1968 was the first year for the second generation Chargers and this movie showed the world what they could do. The Dodge Charger is actually the bad guy's car, which is cool because it made me route for the bad guys. This car is big, it's black, it's bad, and when it peels out to start off that chase scene the audience knows they are in for the ride of their lives!


Steve McQueen as Bullitt wouldn't have been able to chase the bad guys without an amazing machine but luckily he had his 1968 Ford Mustang Fastback. Bullitt may have been a cop but this was no ordinary cop car. This really is the only model of Mustang that I like and I think it's because of this movie. Do the wheels look familiar to you? That style, black centers and aluminum/steel rings outside, is really popular right now and I personally LOVE those wheels but I've loved them for years because they were on this Mustang. Although this Mustang had trouble keeping up with it's Hemi powered adversary, it didn't stop me from really enjoying watching it fly through the streets of San Francisco.


900 horses of Detroit muscle. Dom and his dad built her. She ran 9 seconds flat in the quarter mile, so much torque that the chassis twisted coming off the line, it's a beast. Or so we were told about Dom's blown 1970 Dodge Charger from the first The Fast and the Furious movie. One of the best scenes in any moive, (in my opinion anyway) Dom says when the light turns green, he's going for it, then this Charger rears up when Dom hits the gas and rides a wheelie before it roars through a quarter mile that ends inches away from a train wreck. Although destroyed at the end of the movie, the Charger is supposedly fixed and brought back for a few of the sequels. The sequels got bigger and more unbelievable as the years passed but I still think the first one is by far the best and it's mainly in part due to this Charger. It came out the year I got my 1974 Dodge Charger and made me decide that the color black was definitely the right choice for me. When I saw the previews for this movie they always showed the Charger and I knew I would be seeing it the second it came out. Great movie, great car, great scenes but waiting to the very end to break out the Charger was just painful for me. 

Well there you have it, the next 10 of my most favorite TV/Movie cars.