Friday, August 26, 2011


Well someone out there has an ugly baby, you're probably thinking, NOT ME!!! Well then who? It's true that every mother and father love their baby and believe that its cute and adorable and precious but the simple fact is, THERE ARE UGLY BABIES IN THE WORLD. So how will you know if your baby is ugly, surely you won't think so and no one is about to tell you what a hideous baby you have (even though they all talk about it behind your back) so what's the answer? I'll teach you the 4 fastest ways to tell if you have an ugly baby.

Way 1: The Reaction. A good way to determine if your baby is ugly is by other people's reactions. They won't come out and SAY it's ugly, but they'll give away their true feelings if you pay close attention. When seeing an actual cute baby people say right away, "What a cute baby!" or "How cute!" or "He's soooo adorable!!!" Be careful and listen if your baby is ugly their compliment won't come out so fast because their mind needs time to register a fake compliment that they can pass as true to trick you, the stupid parent of an ugly child. It will sound more like this, ", what a little guy you have." Notice the slight hesitation at the very beginning of the comment. This isn't as easy for some parents to recognize, but don't worry, there are more ways.

Way 2: The Alternative Compliment. Compliments aren't always true, often people lie right to a parents face to avoid an ugly situation, pun not intended. These are nice people and they are just being polite. Sometimes a person just can't lie, so they do something more sly, they give a compliment that ISN'T a lie. If a person comments on your baby's outfit or tiny shoes or stuffed probably have an ugly baby.

Way 3: The Fuss. This is probably the most noticeable way to tell if you have an ugly offspring. Look around the room when you are in a place with many people. Is there a crowd around your baby making a fuss over it? If not it's probably because it's an ugly baby and they could care less to waste their time on it. How long does the crowd stay to make a fuss over your baby, a few minutes or hours? The less time spent on your baby the more likely it is that you have a baby nobody wants to make a fuss over. An even better way is if there is more than one baby there, are they making a fuss over the other baby? If so it's pretty obvious why.

Way 4: Ugly Plus Ugly Equals Ugly. You love your spouse and that's wonderful, but let's be honest, if they are ugly, odds are you are also ugly and if that is the case, odds are even better that your baby is also ugly just due to the fact that you both are ugly people. Many kids are just ugly by default, it is a genetic thing and nothing you can do about it.

So if you have read all 4 ways and you now fear that your baby is is. Having an ugly kid isn't such a bad thing, after all you found someone to have sex with so if your baby grows up to be an ugly person there is still hope for them! Besides, you love your baby no matter what it looks like and isn't that the real point? Keep in mind that most babies are ugly at first and turn into adorable little kids so don't give up hope so soon you pessimist.

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