HOW TO TELL IF YOU'VE EVER WORKED IN FAMILY BASED THERAPY OR CHILDREN AND YOUTH PROTECTIVE SERVICES

Here's a test to tell if you've ever worked in Family Based Services or for the state in Children and Youth Protective Services. Keep track of how many times you answer, "YES," and at the end there will be a score. I myself can unfortunately say yes to every single one of these things. 


1. If you've ever taken off articles of clothing before you go into a home for fear of getting them covered in fleas, lice, or smoke...you might have worked for FBS or CYPS.

2. If you ever bathed yourself in hand sanitizer after coming out of a home and you STILL felt dirty...you might have worked for FBS or CYPS.

3. If you've ever worked a 12 hour day but didn't get paid one cent of overtime...you might have worked for FBS or CYPS.

4. If you've ever been in a home and were offered a seat and after you looked around at your options, you told them you'd just stand for the next hour...you might have worked for FBS or CYPS.

5. If you've ever driven with the windows down in the middle of January to help get the smell off you after coming out of a home...you might have worked for FBS or CYPS.

6. Has a dog ever looked at you in the eye and you can read his face and you know the face says, "This is what I have to deal with on a daily basis."...you might have worked for FBS or CYPS.

7. If you know of a household that has 3 + adults living in it and yet the children run the home...you might have worked for FBS or CYPS.

8. If a family has ever told you that their pet died over the weekend and they were all shocked and surprised by the death but you won a bet with a coworker that the animal would be dead the next time you went to the home...you might have worked for FBS or CYPS.

9. If a family tells you about their family history and how many people are in their family and the first thing you think of, is how to make sure your partner gets stuck doing the genogram and not you...you might have worked for FBS or CYPS.

10. If you know a family where the 7 month old baby has more teeth than its parents...you might have worked for FBS or CYPS.

11. If you have ever pretended to help the family figure out who the person was that called Children Protective Services to report them because it was you and you didn't know how to tell them...you might have worked for FBS.

12. If the first thing out of your mouth when you heard the On-Call Crisis Phone ringing was swear words...you might have worked for FBS or CYPS.

13. If you ever disguised your voice while on a crisis call because you were on call and you knew the family and didn't want them to know it was you...you might have worked for FBS or CYPS.

14. If you looked forward to the one and a half hour drive one way to see a client because it is the highlight of your day...you might have worked for FBS or CYPS.

15. If a family has ever told you they were thinking of moving and you encouraged them to relocate to a different county because you knew they were then going to be out of the range for your company's coverage...you might have worked for FBS or CYPS.

16. If you know of a family where the 10 year old is the smartest one in the home...you might have worked for FBS or CYPS.

17. If you've ever had to tell the school staff that a child doesn't actually have a speech impediment, it is just how all of their family talks at home...you might have worked for FBS. or CYPS.

18. If you've ever done a genogram with a family and it doesn't branch...you might have worked for FBS or CYPS.

19. If you know of a family that has 3 working lawn mowers and a car that isn't...you might have worked for FBS or CYPS.

20. If you've ever watched children and dogs eat out of the same dog dish, at the same time, while the parents are watching...you might have worked for FBS or CYPS.

21. If you know a family that is on food stamps, the parents don't have jobs, and they still eat steak every night...you might have worked for FBS or CYPS.

22. If you've ever helped a family do a budget and you find that since they are on welfare and with food stamps, they make more money in a month than you do...you might have worked for FBS or CYPS.

23. If you know of a family (or families) that don't have enough money to pay for food or rent or other bills but they have a 65 inch flat screen HD TV...you might have worked for FBS or CYPS.

24. If you were ever with a family that went into a store to buy the essentials and came out with bread, milk, cigarettes, and 20 dollars worth of lottery tickets...you might have worked for FBS or CYPS.

25. If you've ever spent the night in an Emergency Room until 5am with someone that attempted suicide because they were pissed off at their parents...you might have worked for FBS or CYPS.

26. If you've ever watched a family spend thousands of dollars of their tax return money and they still don't have enough money for the rent at the end of the month...you might have worked for FBS or CYPS.

27. If you know a child that gets excited when their parents tell them they are making ketchup sandwiches for dinner...you might have worked for FBS or CYPS.

28. If you ever watched a child mentally prepare themselves for the restraining they knew was about to take place...you might have worked for FBS or CYPS.

29. If you were ever in a grocery store and you could HEAR a family you knew in the next aisle, and you avoided them by listening for them and escaping to other aisles...you might have worked for FBS or CYPS. 

30. If you had a teenager in your car, and they crapped themselves but never said a word until you saw your passenger seat...you might have worked for FBS or CYPS. 

31. If you've ever responded to a crisis call and a teenage girl attacked you and made you bleed but because of that you ended up as employee of the month...you might have worked for FBS or CYPS. 

32. If you're pretty sure a drug deal was put on hold because you were sitting in the family's living room and they wanted you to leave so they could complete the transaction...you might have worked for FBS or CYPS. 



If you answered, "Yes" to all of the questions, congratulations and condolences, you have worked for Family Based Services and possibly Children and Youth Protective Services, perhaps both, you poor thing.

If you answered, "Yes," to 25-31 of these, there is a strong chance you worked for Family Based Services or Children and Youth Protective Services for many years. Recovering from this trauma isn't very likely.

If you answered, "Yes," to 20-24 of these, then you probably worked for Family Based Services or Children and Youth Protective Services for a short amount of time but long enough to change you forever. Lucky you.

If you answered, "Yes," to less than 20 then you must have just started working for Family Based Services or Children and Youth Protective Services! GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN. 

If you answered, "Yes," to 10 or less, you probably never worked for either place, you're just in one of these families that Family Based or CYPS has visited. How awkward.