Tuesday, March 24, 2015

More Andrew Thoughts

Here are some more things I randomly wonder about throughout the day.

What are shoe laces for? If it is to keep the shoe on your foot, they don't have a strong case because of sandals, slippers, flip flops, and high heels.

The worst thing humanly possible I can think of would be getting a paper cut on your eye ball.

Why the hell does the word, "vacuum" have two u's in it? What other word has a double U in it? A double U, is a W and that doesn't fit in place of two U's. 

One time at a county fair I was looking at the chickens. I saw a rooster sleeping and I thought it would be funny to wake up a rooster the way they wake people up everyday, so I got as close to his face as I could and then I screamed, COCK-A-DOODLE-DOOOOO!!!" right in his face. He woke up all scared and I swear to you he had an angry look on his face. How dare a rooster be pissed that someone woke him up, of all the nerve! I couldn't believe the audacity of that chicken. I started yelling and swearing at him calling him the world's biggest hypocrite. Still makes me mad to think about to this day.

Did you ever notice how fast swim trunks dry after they get wet? Why don't we just make all our clothes out of this magic material and save a ton of time and money drying our clothes?

Everyone is terrified of all the Mexicans sneaking into our country just because they look different and speak a different language but did you ever stop and worry about how easy it would be for Canadians to sneak over our boarder? I assume they have been doing it for years, they would blend in much better and just look how empty their country is! Odd how much the NHL has grown in recent years, think about it, hockey in Arizona, Texas, California, and Florida??? Every time you hear a hint of a French accent, I bet that is a Canadian that came here to the U.S. illegally.

Does anyone else think it's odd that both the English and the Chinese invented the idea of a dragon but they look completely different??

Why do pirates always seem to be missing an eye, a leg, or a hand? Does that mean being a pirate is dangerous work or are those certain pirates just bad at what they do? Maybe if you're missing those things your only career path is being a pirate?

Did you ever have that feeling that you forgot something but you didn't forget anything? No, you haven't, it ALWAYS means you forgot something. Why don't we just stop and go back at that point, when we feel that feeling? We just keep saying, "I feel like I forgot something." Well that's because you did.

Why haven't we developed glasses that you wear at night that help you see better in the dark? You mean to tell me this whole time we've been preoccupied about the sun and daytime? I'd be willing to say we need them MORE than sunglasses. If we make them they should be called, "moonglasses."

How come we say, "Hello," when we answer the phone? shouldn't we say, "What?"

I don't have a diary because I feel it is too one-sided of a relationship. I contribute everything and get nothing back. Maybe I would like to hear how my diary's day went, ever think of that?? 

If Pocahontas ever told me I needed to learn to paint with all the colors of the wind, I would tell her I already have and then just hand her a blank sheet of paper.

I think we can all agree that not only SHOULD purple be a flavor, it IS a flavor. If I say it tastes purple, you know what I'm talking about. Besides, orange is a flavor and a color so why not purple? That would make the only two colors that are flavors also would be the two words that have no rhymes. Seems fitting to me.

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