TV: THE NEW DALLAS

So I just found out that Dallas will be returning to television. Oh no, not on CBS where it originally aired, but now on TNT. I didn't even know TNT was still around but I guess it is.

Now I know what you're thinking, this show will suck. Well let's just hold on and take a second to think about that. It is true that when a tv series run it's course its best just to leave them in the past, however there has been an 80's renaissance recently of 80's movies and shows. Again, I know what you're thinking, but they ALL SUCKED. Yes they did, I won't mention the new movies that blew goats worse than the farmer down the road, yes I will. The Dukes of Hazzard, the A-team, the smurfs are just a few movies that did horrible and were horrible and the people who made them should FEEL horrible, about as much as the suckers that went to see them. ( I didn't watch any of them) But what about the tv shows? Again all terrible, such as the new knight rider, the new He-man, and the new Thundercats. So why would I be excited about a new Dallas?

Well that's pretty easy, the reason why those movies and tv shows sucked is because they changed so much about them, not just the cast but the music, the setting, and the plain attitudes of the shows themselves. It isn't the 1980's anymore and the people remaking Dallas have that in mind. Instead of recasting or just plain coming up with their own idea and calling it by an old familiar and well-known name, they actually are just continuing the story.

J.R. Ewing, Bobby Ewing and Sue Ellen are still on the show, now old and with their own kids grown up. J.R., Bobby and Sue Ellen are still played by the same actors, Larry Hagman, Patrick Duffy and Linda Grey. If the show tried to recreate J.R. or Bobby or just act as if they never existed, the show would have been a terrible waste of time BUT with including old story lines, old characters, the SAME house and setting of Dallas, I think this show may actually have some potential. John Ross and Christopher seem to be the new focal point of the show, which makes perfect sense because when the show ended in the early 90's they were small boys, now they are grown up and taking over the family oil business. As we know TV dramas are flourishing right now so there is a good shot this could make it. Its new and exciting for a new audience but still has that old Dallas charm that many of its old viewers, (like me) will be tuning in for.

Check out TNT's first look. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d220ZdzdFTQ

The only thing that could ruin this show at this point would be redoing the amazing theme song. However TNT used it in their commercial so I have a good feeling they will be using it. The new Dallas is coming in the summer of 2012 and I can't wait, but that's just my two cents.

My Orange Trees

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aztyFse89mc See the video!

I decided to plant a few orange seeds. Turns out, this CAN be done and often is, even in our cold climate of PA. Not sure how often it's done this time of year but I can't help it that I just got the idea a few weeks ago.

If you put the seeds in a wet paper towel and then put that in a plastic ziplock bag, they will start to grow tiny roots, then its time for dirt. You can also peel off the seed covering, which I did, to help the process go a bit faster.

I put the seeds into a paper towel on the 2nd of this month, the 18th I put each one into their own small cup of dirt. The very next day 2 of the orange seeds sprouted! Yes, I said sprouted! I couldn't believe it myself, in fact I didn't even think I was looking at little sprout but a closer look revealed the truth, the seedlings had come up!

Only time will tell if these little guys will continue to grow and even more importantly, make it through the tough cold winter months ahead. I would love to have a bunch of little seedlings to take outside for the spring time sun and warmth.

Growing these seeds so far has been really fun! Orange trees, lemon trees, and lime trees make great house plants and I suggest you try growing them yourself, but that's just my two cents.

Michael Vick, why I DON'T hate him

Michael Vick, if you do not know, was the quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons NFL football team. He got into some trouble for dog fighting, owning, running, and breeding, he then went to jail for this crime. After a few years he has been let out of jail, paid many fines, and is still doing community service for his crime of dog fighting. He now plays for the Philadelphia Eagles and many people still boo him and curse his name, saying he shouldn't be allowed to play in the NFL ever again for his dog fighting crimes. Well I don't agree with that view.

This man served TIME IN JAIL for a few dogs fighting each other. This man PAID FINES, and I guarantee a millionaire is going to pay a lot of money. This man DID AND DOES COMMUNITY SERVICE for that crime. He also had to pay back the Atlanta Falcons 19.9 MILLION dollars. How much more do you want? He said he was sorry, he NO LONGER does dog fighting and now just wants to get his life back on track and yet you still say, he doesn't deserve it? Why not? What more should he do? What else can he do? He obviously can't take back what he did in his past. He just wants to move on and better himself, how dare anyone deny him this. What happened to second chances? He only gets one I take it?? What happened to learning from your mistakes? (no matter how stupid) He is proof that our system works for rehabilitating convicts or don't we care about that? How much money would tax payers have to pay to keep a man in jail compared to him out of jail and making money, GOOD MONEY?

Don't get me wrong, I have a problem with people who torture animals and I hate to hear about it and I think it's wrong. However I came up with a list of crimes that I find way worse than dog fighting and here it is!

Murder

Rape

Wife beating

Child sexual abuse

Child physical abuse

Child neglect

drunk driving

Voluntary Manslaughter

Child pornography

armed robbery

drug dealing

drug use

kidnapping

arson

burglay

Fraud

assault

identity theft

forgery

Racketeering

counter fitting

extortion

insider trading

embezzlement

tax evasion

vandalism

shoplifting

Then I suppose Dog fighting, followed by cock fighting and then jay walking. So next time you go to bad mouth Michael Vick, let's remember there are far things worse than a few dogs fighting and killing each other and a man who paid his debt to society and is trying to better himself. But I guess you hold the right to not forgive people? I certainly do not approve with what Michael Vick did, but it's time to let it go. That's just my two cents.

The Gentleman Bandit, 3rd most prolific bank robber in U.S. history, friend of my mothers....

My mother had her 40th graduation reunion tonight. Although nobody mentioned it, the most famous and most successful member of their graduating class was not there...he had been shot to death in a shootout in 1987 in the middle of a bank robbery.

Melvin Dellinger was in my mom's group of friends and I've heard about him my whole life. Not a lot of people can say their mother was friends with a real live bank robber, but I can. He was very hard to catch because he was so smart. My mother always said how intelligent he was. He robbed 27 banks in Colorado alone before he was shot to death, how cool of a way to die is that?! He was known as the gentleman bandit because he was well dressed and very polite during his robberies, often apologizing to the tellers as he robbed them at gun point.

When it comes to bank robbers in U.S. History, including the old west, Melvin ranks 3rd all time, which is pretty good. Not getting caught helps I'm sure. My mom always told me how he was dating the English teacher's daughter. Once they decided to run away together and they stole her parents car, they drove really fast until the gas ran out and so they didn't make it far. With all his potential, somehow Melvin ended up in armed robbery. He robbed banks in Colorado, Minnesota, Washington, New York, Missouri, and Indiana. They believe there may have been more that were unknown. In October of 1987, on the 7th, Melvin decided to rob a bank in Denver, he already had robbed it once before and got away with it, I suppose he felt he could do it again.....he was wrong. The Gentleman Bandit met his end in a heavy gunfire from the police. A note in his pocket read, "My wife knew nothing about this. Please tell her I'm sorry. Thanks."

History happens everyday and sometimes the people we call friends go off and become famous. Who would think a 1971 graduate from little Williamsburg PA would become a nationally known bank robber? Not my mom who said, she would have never thought he could do such a thing.

NFL picks

Well here they are yet again. Every year since i was a teenager i've picked the outcome of the regular NFL season, believe it or not, i've actually guessed the super bowl correct once. Here are my preseason picks!

AFC North

Pittsburgh

Baltimore

Cleveland

Cincinnati

AFC South

Houston

Tennessee

Indianapolis

Jacksonville

AFC East

New England

New Jersey

Buffalo

Miami

AFC West

San Diego

Oakland

Kansas City

Denver

NFC North

Detroit

Green Bay

Chicago

Minnesota

NFC South

Atlanta

New Orleans

Tampa Bay

Carolina

NFC East

Philadelphia

Dallas

New York

Washington

NFC West

Seattle

Arizona

San Fransisco

St. Louis

This wasn't an easy year to pick but my predictions are, no Manning, no success for the colts. The dream team won't live up to the hype although with Vick they will do well. The Jets will not win the AFC championship as they have been trying for the past two years in a row. Green Bay was a flash in the pan last year and the Steelers will be one of the best teams in the NFL. Detroit will earn respect and will have the best season in their last 20 years, but that's not that hard to do. Buffalo will start to climb out of the basement but in such a tough division they can only go so far. I will review this post in December and see where I stand then, after all these are just predictions and you never know what's going to happen throughout the year.

8 SIMPLE STEPS TO BECOME A MIME

Aspiring mimes want to know, how do I become one of those color blind mute unfunny cousins of the clowns? Well it's easier than you think! Just follow these 8 simple steps and YOU TOO can become a street preforming idiot!

Step 1: Decide if becoming a mime is right for you. Do you have any talent? Are you interested in normal things? Are you in a relationship? Are you smart? If you answered yes to any of these you are NOT mime material. If you must be a mime make sure you don't want to be a clown instead, this is a common mistake by most pantomimes, yes that's the correct actual term for these zebra dressed street preforming silent clowns.

Step 2: Ditch your colors. Mimes wear two colors, white and black. (please don't give me any crap about white and black not being actual colors) If you wear ANY color other than white and black, you are not going to make it as a mime. Black and white, especially stripes and berets are the only things you should be wearing. If you don't look like a mime you won't feel like a mime. (Keep that in mime.)

Step 3: If only wearing white and black wasn't enough, and apparently it isn't, you'll also have to get used to wearing white face paint. If you are Irish odds are your face is already white enough so go ahead and skip to step 4. If not, you'll want to cover your face in white paint or makeup. Looking at a picture of Michael Jackson is always helpful, (Note: only after 1990).

Step 4: Stop speaking. Mimes do not use their voices, no matter what. This won't be easy especially when answering the phone or being called on in class, but this what you have to give up to live the dream so it's worth it right? Keep in mind people will hit and kick you when you're on the street and it won't be easy to keep your mouth shut, but keep your mouth shut you must.

Step 5: Practice makes perfect, but how does one practice on invisible imaginary props?? By using REAL objects, that's how! Many people don't know this, but there are no actual invisible objects, it's all pretend. Trap yourself daily in glass boxes and try to find ways out by touching the sides over and over again. Tie a rope to something large and heavy and pull it each and every day. Climb to the top of a ladder that goes nowhere, get a huge fan and try to walk into the wind, lean on walls, and just mimic the people around you. (WARNING: you're gonna get hit)

Step 6: If you've made it this far congratulations, you are on your way to becoming a mime! Mimes preform only in the streets due to the fact that nobody would hire them to do their stupid act in any sort of building. You'll need to get used to being on the street, sidewalks, in crowds of people and in front of popular buildings and nice fountains. Spend as much time as you can outside on the street, it will toughen you up for the difficult times ahead. (Keep this in mime.)

Step 7: Balancing the budget is very important for today's busy pantomime on the go. Keep in mind you'll be VERY poor because mimes don't make a lot of money. Every now and again you might get paid to leave the area you are preforming in or kids may throw change at you. A good mime can make close to a dollar a day. Eat a lot of Top Ramen soup because that's pretty much all you'll be able to afford. It is for this reason that all mimes are so skinny, fun little fact for you. (Keep your money on your mime and your mime on your money.)

Step 8: You're all ready to go out into the colorful world of being a mime! Good for you. Now to find your own turf. Choose a spot free of jugglers, street magicians, street gamblers, acoustic guitar playing hippies, any kind of real street musician, anyone with a puppet, and above all else, OTHER MIMES. Mimes are very territorial and the last thing you want to do is get into a mime fight. (You don't want to lose your mime.) Find a spot that gets a lot of people traffic and has enough room for you to get noticed.

Well there you go, if you follow these 8 simple steps I'm sure you will become a mime....for some reason. I hope you make it and if you do, please don't stop doing what you love, after all, a mime is a terrible thing to waste.

HOW TO TELL IF YOU HAVE AN UGLY BABY

Well someone out there has an ugly baby, you're probably thinking, NOT ME!!! Well then who? It's true that every mother and father love their baby and believe that its cute and adorable and precious but the simple fact is, THERE ARE UGLY BABIES IN THE WORLD. So how will you know if your baby is ugly, surely you won't think so and no one is about to tell you what a hideous baby you have (even though they all talk about it behind your back) so what's the answer? I'll teach you the 4 fastest ways to tell if you have an ugly baby.

Way 1: The Reaction. A good way to determine if your baby is ugly is by other people's reactions. They won't come out and SAY it's ugly, but they'll give away their true feelings if you pay close attention. When seeing an actual cute baby people say right away, "What a cute baby!" or "How cute!" or "He's soooo adorable!!!" Be careful and listen if your baby is ugly their compliment won't come out so fast because their mind needs time to register a fake compliment that they can pass as true to trick you, the stupid parent of an ugly child. It will sound more like this, "Ohhhhh....my, what a little guy you have." Notice the slight hesitation at the very beginning of the comment. This isn't as easy for some parents to recognize, but don't worry, there are more ways.

Way 2: The Alternative Compliment. Compliments aren't always true, often people lie right to a parents face to avoid an ugly situation, pun not intended. These are nice people and they are just being polite. Sometimes a person just can't lie, so they do something more sly, they give a compliment that ISN'T a lie. If a person comments on your baby's outfit or tiny shoes or stuffed toy.....you probably have an ugly baby.

Way 3: The Fuss. This is probably the most noticeable way to tell if you have an ugly offspring. Look around the room when you are in a place with many people. Is there a crowd around your baby making a fuss over it? If not it's probably because it's an ugly baby and they could care less to waste their time on it. How long does the crowd stay to make a fuss over your baby, a few minutes or hours? The less time spent on your baby the more likely it is that you have a baby nobody wants to make a fuss over. An even better way is if there is more than one baby there, are they making a fuss over the other baby? If so it's pretty obvious why.

Way 4: Ugly Plus Ugly Equals Ugly. You love your spouse and that's wonderful, but let's be honest, if they are ugly, odds are you are also ugly and if that is the case, odds are even better that your baby is also ugly just due to the fact that you both are ugly people. Many kids are just ugly by default, it is a genetic thing and nothing you can do about it.

So if you have read all 4 ways and you now fear that your baby is ugly......it is. Having an ugly kid isn't such a bad thing, after all you found someone to have sex with so if your baby grows up to be an ugly person there is still hope for them! Besides, you love your baby no matter what it looks like and isn't that the real point? Keep in mind that most babies are ugly at first and turn into adorable little kids so don't give up hope so soon you pessimist.

The 2011 East Coast Earthquake

Well today is a day I won't soon forget. Today I was in an earthquake. This isn't my first earthquake, I experienced many of them in Alaska but I don't remember any. So this is my first earthquake that I could remember.

I was in my office building, not doing work, and all of a sudden I felt shaking. I felt things like this before, especially if someone is moving around furniture on the floor above me, but not quite the same, this was much more movement and it lasted much longer. I remember someone asking what was going on and I said, this building is definitely moving. Then I remember someone asking if it was an earthquake. I thought of this too, but we don't usually get them here in PA or on the east coast, not big enough to feel anyway. I started to wonder about the building falling down, after all it wasn't built to withstand an earthquake. I got up to head for the door because I thought if it was falling down, I would try to make a run for it instead of being buried alive. Then it stopped and we were all talking about it and what had just happened.

With use of the internet we soon knew it was in fact an earthquake! I was the first person I know to post it on facebook, many, many posts came after mine, but I was the earliest. Being in an earthquake was kinda cool, no one was hurt and my house didn't fall down so there were no draw backs to this one, but that's my two cents.