REVIEW: Apple iphone

It's time i threw in my two cents in on the famous Apple iphone. Phones of phones! Yours may differ and if you love your iphone, as so many of you do, well then keep on enjoying it. I, however, found the iphone to be worthless.

I'd like to start out by saying i did buy an iphone, which is what i thought was exactly what i wanted, hell i even went to 5 different places before i found any in stock, thats how much these things are being sold. They even just surpassed the RAZR as the most sold cell phone. When i bought mine the lady said i should get the apple protection plan they offer because it will really help cover the cost if the iphone were to break. See if you break your iphone dont panic, you can just by a new one...just not at the same price you just shelled out for it, in this case 199 bucks. You'll have to pay several 100 dollars more because 199 is only the price if you get the 2 year contract, and you have to do that with AT&T. I have nothing against AT&T, in fact i really wanted to switch to them. I asked what my phone bill each month would be in 4 different places, each said 69 something or other. Not too bad for a phone that can do anything under the sun! HOWEVER, what they don't tell you is once you add in the taxes, i would be paying 88 bucks a month...i wasn't thrilled but i still felt it was worth it.

So i get the 69 dollar plan because i heard a lot of these phones break, and rather easily i might add. One guy in best buy even showed me his cracked screen and said it was the perfect phone, other than that. The lady told me id REALLY NEED a protective covering, AND a screen cover because they scratch so easily. Ya know, is it just me or are those BAD selling points? Maybe she didn't think because i already told her i wanted one and most apple buyers are mindless drones that buy whatever apple says to buy, in either case red flags were going up in my head left and right, yet i ignored them and told her id be back to buy all that stuff. You'll hear a lot about iphones breaking and i figured out that the durability of the iphone is somewhere in between an egg shell and a sheet of glass. Too bad there isn't an app for anti-gravity so you'd never drop it.

So i turn it on and really want to play around with this thing, just check it out, get comfortable with it. That was a lot harder than i thought it would be. I couldn't get used to the slididng and touching of the screen. I was constantly clicking on things i didn't want, not clicking on things i did and over scrolling what i was looking for. I think this is just me though because im bad with an ipod as well but this just shows a reason why the iphone was not the best choice for me. I notice that none of the internet things were connecting for me, no itunes, no google, no yahoo, no email, no app store, no weather and im saying to myself, hmm well ill just make a call i guess?

Making a call with the iphone is as easy as 1,2,3.....4,5,6...7,8,9....10. With my old phone i had to press ONE button and hold it in, that was my speed dial and my call was on the way. With the iphone i first had to press the round button to bring back the screen from being black. Then i had to slide that button to unlock the screen. (Here i wont even mention how i had to close out of everything my iphone was trying to do in my pocket due to the screen touching stuff.) Then i had to scroll over to the contact icon. Then i had to click the icon. Then i had to scroll to the name i wanted to call. Then i had to click on that name. Then i had to click on the number in that name and hold it down. Then my call was finally being dialed. Thank you iphone, apple does make things more convient don't they?

Talking on the iphone itself was just annoying to me. Its so short and stubby that youre talking into thin air. I just don't like that, i kept asking if the person could hear me ok because my mouth was no where near the phone itself. Just a preference thing but it annoyed me.

At this point i said out loud, getting into my car on my way to an appointment, "I am NOT impressed iphone.....not impressed at all, in fact you're going to have to get A LOT better to even be half decent." Once at work i was able to really sit down and mess around with my iphone...unless my boss is reading this, in which case i was working very hard. So i still can't connect to the internet which i found makes the iphone pretty much....well, useless! 90% of what it can do is based on being connected to the net. I finally use the school's wifi and connect. It was VERY slow, im talking dial up slow. Again, not impressed with all this great internet talk. I went into that app store that i really wanted to utilize. I found you had to pay for all the best stuff, most of which was in the 4.99 range. That isn't so bad but buy several of those a month and you're screwed, after all my first bill was going to be 136 bucks because of the activation fee. So i decide to try out that typing i was looking forward to. See, i hate using a regular phone to text, and the phones with actual keyboards are way to small for me, so hearing that the iphone has keys on the screen that you just touch made me really excited. Again i found myself in disapointment. The keys were still so small that my fat little fingers kept pressing other keys and making it really hard for me to type anything. Now i was really scratching my head at why people were raving about this phone so much.

I went home and tried and tried to get connected. No wifi and that 3G network, that the entire phone is BASED ON, would not connect. No matter what settings i tried it would not work. Later i discovered that the 3G network isn't in my area, so i would have never been able to connect to anything. I didn't know it at the time but i was so pissed i decided then and there why not take it back? Now i wanted to keep it and try it and give it the benefit of the doubt (not that the iphone deserved it at this point) but you could only return it in 3 days, otherwise you wouldn't be refunded...sly AT&T dogs. Well then if that was the case, i would have no choice but to make a hasty decision and return it the very next morning.

The next morning i went into the AT&T store when it opened, they asked what they could do for me and i said, i want to return this. The earth stopped and the girl's heart did too when she pulled an iphone out of the bag. I just made history, the only person in the universe to return the iphone. She of course was shocked and asked what the matter was and i said, "I can't stand it." She looked at me as if i had lobsters crawling out of my nose. Shaking her head in disbelief she went on with the return process, letting me know there was restocking fee. That didn't piss me off because i hated that phone so much i would have paid anything to just be rid of the useless piece of shit. She went on shaking her head in sorrow. (i think it was because she felt sorry for the moron who was returning God's gift to cell phones.) She asked if i wanted to just get another phone and keep my AT&T plan but i said, "No, im going back to Verizon." They give my company a discount, not AT&T so why not go back to them?

I went to Verizon to look at some new phones. Turns out they make one called the blackberry storm, now i didn't know this but its just an iphone in every shape and form. In some ways its even better in others its not. The lady told me there that the 3G network isn't in that area and many people end up doing what i did. Thank you assholes at the AT&T store for not telling me that little bit of information, after all thats the entire basis of the iphone, ITS EVEN IN ITS NAME, THE IPHONE 3GS!!! fuckers. What i liked about the blackberry storm is that when you pressed on its screen, it actually moves and makes the click noise, something that i thought was better than the iphone. Its network, since it uses Verizon has the better range and i would find conncecting to the internet would actually happen in my house. Also go ahead and try to copy and paste something on the iphone, you won't be able to, but you can with the storm! I didn't end up getting one because the bill would be the same each month and they tried to upsell me screen protectors. So im just phoneless at the moment and i gotta tell you...its not that bad.

If you love your iphone, fine, thats your opinion and youre entitled to it. I just didn't. I didn't like spending all the money, i didn't like the inconvienice. I know Apple is known for making things sooooo easy and simple to use but when they made a phone that could do anything anyone would want they stepped into unknown territory because i really think they failed miserably. There is no way you can make a phone so complex and simple to use, and in my opinion they didn't. Without the internet the iphone is just a phone and as a phone it isn't near worth 88 dollars a month so getting rid of it was really in my best interest. So that was my experience with the iphone, if you love yours or want one, thats great and i hope youre happy with it. I just feel Apple could sell crap in boxes if they said you need it. I bet there are a lot of people out there who aren't as happy with their iphone as they thought they would be or that let on but God forbid anyone be the first to say it. I think its a lot like the story of the emporor's new clothes. No one will speak up about the truth they see right in front of their faces. I guess im the little boy in the crowd yelling out, "HE'S NOT WEARING ANY CLOTHES!"

To grade the iphone, for being a phone and making calls i give it a C. Not great but adequate. For all the cool things and apps it has id like to give it an A, but since i couldn't use them and a lot of them do cost money i give it an F. For color choices, black or white again an F because come on Apple, there are more than 2 colors people like. For the ability to do just about anything ill give it an A, because it really can do whatever you want er...wait a sec....not copy and paste like the blackberry storm, make that an A-. For me the Apple iphone 3Gs was like a car without wheels. Sure i could sit in it, the radio worked, i could open the doors and trunk and it looked cool, but if you can't drive it then what use is it? But that's just my two cents.

SPORTS: Fourwheel riding

My cousin Michael, his fiance Katie, Maria and i went four wheel riding Labor Day weekend. We had a lot of fun. Where are our helmets? Maybe we should have though. We did a lot of jumping, as you can see by the pictures and a lot of jumps equals a lot of fun! Im glad i bought this fourwheeler, its loud and powerful and most importantly its a Polaris. Everyone should go for a good old fashioned dirty ride on a fourwheeler, but thats my two cents.

LIFE: Turkeys

So i got a few turkeys. One is for Thanksgiving but the other two are just for me. In the spring time i plan to collect their eggs and incubate them, getting baby turkeys. The darkest one is a Black Spanish Turkey, he is the one who has a predetermined date with an ax. The white and black one is my male, or "tom" he is a Royal Palm turkey. The little blue one is the hen and she is a Blue Slate turkey. Keep in mind although they look full grown they still have a lot of growing to do, they are only 15 weeks old at the moment. There will be more updates on the way and maybe even a video or two.

INTERVIEW: Mr. Yuck

Hello and welcome to my interview with Mr. Yuck, sticker icon. For years since 1971, this green symbol has shown children and stupid adults everywhere what poisonous chemicals they should stay away from, Mr. Yuck, how are you?
Mr. Yuck: How am i? LOOK AT ME, how do you think?? I'm yucky of course.
Andrew: Haha, so you are. Tell the people at home how you feel about being the big ugly green face that makes children stay away?
Mr. Yuck: Well, when you put it like that...
Andrew: How would you put it then, i thought that was spot on?
Mr. Yuck: Look, i saved 1000's of lives over the years pal, that's enough for anybody to be happy with, i don't care what people think of me.
Andrew: Yes, since 71 you've been around and yet recently we haven't seen much of you, why is that?
Mr. Yuck: Its sad, but parents today don't really care if their children play, "drink whats under the sink." In fact, if anything, they hope for it!
Andrew: Its a fact that you replaced the skull and cross bones as the symbol for poison. Those were pretty big shoes to fill, wouldn't you say?
Mr. Yuck: Oh yes, it was a big deal, back then people just put bones on everything but kids thought that Draino was some kind of pirate drink, so they'd down the whole bottle before they realized their stomachs were eaten out.
Andrew: Facinating if true.
Mr. Yuck: I was created to be a friendlier sign of danger. It wasn't just poison you know, sometimes i would show up on medicine or anitfreeze or even poorly wired electrical cables.
Andrew: I read that they tried many symbols in a test with children, including the skull and crossbones, a red stop sign, you and others but you were found the most effective!
Mr. Yuck: My face says it all, you don't piss with whatever im hanging on.
Andrew: Mr. Yuck you're a jack of all trades! Being from Pittsburgh is a surprise to me, i would have guessed New Jersy or somewhere crappy like that.
Mr. Yuck: Believe me, i've spent a lot of time in New Jersy but i was created in Pittsburgh yes.
Andrew: If you could just clear something up please. Around your head it says, "Mr. Yuck means no." But i thought no means no? Explain.
Mr. Yuck: ..........Someone should put my face on this interview.
Andrew: Well there you have it, beloved poison icon Mr. Yuck, you should give him a thanks if you never drank poison, but thats just my two cents.

Life: My sister totals her car, watch my mom's reaction to hearing the news for the first time!

Well my little sister Larissa totaled her car. Don't worry, shes ok. So was the other woman...their cars however, not so much! I got the news before my mom and as luck would have it someone had to tell her and the lucky person got to be me! So here it is, this isn't staged or rehearsed, its the real deal. Please excuse my mother's bad language. I'm just glad it wasn't me. Also the clip starts with Annie and me outside waiting for my mom, notice how Annie is wagging her tail as if she finds this just as funny as i do.

LIFE: Bantams at 3 months

The little bantam chicks are all grown up it would appear. They will be 3 months old next week. I think once the roosters crow and the hens lay an egg it is official, but they look full grown anyway. There are only five now. A few weeks ago something got into the pen and killed the black non-frizzle one and a week before that one of the red ones escaped and was never heard from again.

These are the survivors. I have two roosters, one with yellow feet and one with white feet. I'm not sure if that means anything but at the very least its a good way to tell them apart. The other two red ones are hens and then there is the black frizzle. She still remains by far the coolest chicken. She is also the friendliest and seems to have very little fear. They live with the pheasant chicks at the moment and the chicks that my dad got. Among those new chicks is a bantam, not a cochin bantam like mine but some other type. He's a little fighter as I've seen him start things with the other chickens already. My dad tried putting them with his chickens but they attacked the bantams so he had to take them back out. His big mean barred rock got the ax a week ago... i guess that's what you get for pecking the hand that feeds you!

I'll keep updates on my bantam chicks, who are now chickens i guess. The frizzle is going to be entered into the Harmony Fair this year, and maybe, just maybe I'll get that elusive blue ribbon that i never got in all the years of the fair.

HOBBIES: soapstone carving, eskimo kayak

Well i finally finished my second attempt at soapstone carving. I went big with this one even though its only my second try. I decided to make an Eskimo hunter in a kayak. They were two different pieces of rock so their color turned out to be different, which now im glad that they did. It was the first time i had to do detail and it wasn't easy and i learned a lot from doing it, the next time i do a face it will be much better.

I made the spear out of wood that i had to sand down and i drilled a hole, (by hand) into the Eskimo's hand. It's glued in there just as a precaution and so is he. I have a hole in the guy and the kayak and a small piece of wood, all is glued just to be sure he never falls out.

I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out, although any criticism by me or anyone else can be answered with, IT WAS THE SECOND TIME I MADE A CARVING. So i suppose i don't have much to complain about, i don't want to toot my own horn but take some time and look up soapstone carvings, this one looks pretty damn good compared to a lot of whats out there. However its pretty crappy to a lot of whats out there too. Everyone has their own style and its too early for me to even know what mine is just yet. I already have a list of things i want to make including a standing polar bear, a walking grizzly bear, a musk ox and Sedna. (she will have to wait a while until i get even more tools, more skills, more practice and more experience.)

It is father's day so i gave this little guy to my dad in hopes in ends up on his trellis. It also took my dad all of two minutes to break this guy's arm off. Yes, he broke it. It took me hours to make and it took seconds to break, funny how that works out. It was a clean break and will be glued and no one will ever be able to tell.

And so my second carving is now complete. What's next for me? I need some more soapstone, i have some but i'd like bigger hunks of it so i can make bigger sculptures. So until then my inuit hunter will ride the waves of my imagination, hunting in the sea of my mind. Perhaps I'll make him a seal or walrus to hunt.....

BLAST FROM THE PAST: The Voyage of the Mimi

PBS had an educational show back in 1984 about a sailing ship that was tracking whales off the eastern coast. The ship was called the Mimi and so the show's name was "The Voyage of the Mimi." Due to the show's success there was a sequel in 1988 called, "The Second Voyage of the Mimi."

Captain Granville and 6 other members used his ship, including his grandson C.T. The show was pretty good, it was only 13 episodes long and each week was another part of their long adventure at sea. It was a show for middle schoolers to learn about science and math in a fun and interesting way. It is still being shown in some schools today because the lessons learned back then can still be applied today. It taught young people a lot, i hadn't seen it since i was 6 years old and i don't remember much, other than i LOVED the theme song.

Way before Ben Affleck was ruining movies in the late 90's and 2000's he was playing C.T. Granville, the 10 year old of the crew who sailed the seas looking for whales and relating to kids everywhere. When Ben Affleck started doing movies many people my age and older said, "That's C.T.!" (As a side note, Ben Affleck's acting abilities are about the same in 2009 as they were in 1984.)

The ship was really owned by the man who played Captain Granville, and it was built in 1933 as a whaling vessel. He owned the ship until 1999 when he sold it. The ship is still sea worthy and docked in Boston. I would really like to see it someday.

With the help of the internet it took me 16 years to figure out the name of this show. 18 years to hear the theme song again, which was one of my favorites of all time. And 20 years to finally see the only episode i remembered. The one thing i NEVER forgot was that you CAN make salt water drinkable, this tv show showed you how. Its worth checking out, the acting is just horrible but if you watched it as a kid you liked it, it has a special allure for some reason. The theme music, which you can find here, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYrlarKM-gw is worth listening to at least once. Youtube has many clips and a few episodes from the series. I hope more will be on the way but that's just my two cents.