Friday, April 17, 2015


Every country has a flag but not every country has a GOOD flag. In fact, there are some down right terrible flags out there. I found a few that are not only terrible, but need to be redone because they don't fit their country. I have listed them and give some good suggestions on how to make a better flag.

Country: CANADA
Description: A big red maple leaf with two red lines.
At A Glance: Oh Canada, this flag says to me, "We have a ton of maple trees!" I suppose for Canada this is about the only message you have for the rest of the world...other than, "We have a ton of hockey!"
How to fix it: I think their new flag should have the two things Canada has, trees and hockey. Look, I'm not saying that makes this place a loser country, I'm just saying embrace who you are!
New Flag:

Country: FRANCE
Description: Red, white and blue stripes
At A Glance: This just screams boring. Just colors? You can do better France! When I, and everybody else, thinks of France we don't think red, white and blue. I think of a place that is known for bread, cheese, wine, and the Eiffel Tower. It should have all of these on a flag. Besides, what else have they done? Nothing.
How to fix it: It should be their national shirt colors, red and white stripes, there should be a beret in there somewhere, maybe the Eiffel tower can be wearing it and holding a loaf of bread and drinking wine, I don't know, something like that. Anything is better than a couple of colors.
New Flag:

Description: a red stripe and a white stripe
At A Glance: I see this and I think to myself, "Oh no! They didn't have enough time to finish their flag!" It really looks incomplete. I don't know anything about Indonesia but I can't believe the only thing they want the rest of the world to know about them is, "we're all about the red and white." I don't know how to fix this Pok√©mon ball of a problem because it just needs so much work.
How to fix it: Ok, so after researching Indonesia I found their national emblem is actually really cool! It's pretty obvious that the guy picked to do the flag was NOT the same guy picked to do the national emblem. I say this country should just put it's emblem onto their flag. Problem solved Indonesia, you now have an awesome flag to match your awesome emblem!
New Flag:

Country: ITALY
Description: A red stripe, a white stripe, and a green stripe
At A Glance: Not sure what the Italians had in mind when they sat around and came up with three colors to be their flag. Just forget about all the history and heritage, and culture, and art, and food that they are famous for, we'll just use two colors and a chunk of white! This one needs a little bit of work but can easily be fixed.
How to fix it: It should depict their country's shape because let's face it, not too many other countries are in the shape of something. I would stay away from adding food because Italian food is done to death and it's a bit too obvious. This is the country that gave us Rocky Balboa and the Godfather. It should also have words because the Italians are loud and proud!
New Flag:

Country: JAMAICA
Description: A large X of black, green, and yellow.
At A Glance: "We really love the X-men," is what this flag says to me. It actually is kinda cool but the problem I have with it is, what is the X for? If the country was called, "Xamaica," then this flag would be perfect.
How to fix it: After taking a good long look at the flag I see the real problem. The problem is, this flag is pretty awesome just the way it is now! The country's name doesn't begin with an X, and that's where the real issue lies. I think the flag should stay the exact same but they should change their name from Jamaica to Xmaica. It actually isn't a stretch, the country was originally called, "Xaymaca" by its original inhabitants....perhaps that's where the X on the flag comes from now that I think about it? Either way, I just say go back to the original name and it all works out!

Country: JAPAN
Description: Pure white with giant red dot
At A Glance: Land of the period? Well that's what your flag says to the world! You are the country with ninjas and robots and this is what you use to represent yourself??? Come on Japan, your awesomely creative anime proves you can do better than this.
How to fix it: I think it is supposed to be the sun but how about using a robot ninja instead? Just a thought. A giant anime robot ninja slicing the sun in half would be a cool new flag and would really represent the country much better than a big red dot.
New Flag:

Country: POLAND
Description: Upside down Indonesia flag
At A Glance: If Poland were a child and they were in a class taking a flag test and sat in front of Indonesia, I'd be saying, "POLAND! Keep your eyes on your own flag!" The craziest thing about this boring flag is, it happened once already! Someone came up with the same unimaginative flag TWICE and it sucked both times. We all know what Polish people are known for and I can't depict that on a flag BUT I can fix this wouldn't take much.
How to fix it: Seriously Poland, what the hell?? This is your emblem and yet your flag is that boring red and white stripe? I just don't understand the big difference between your plain flag and your badass emblem. You're just like Indonesia! However, as cool as that emblem is and would be a great flag, there is something even better.

Mariusz Pudzianowski is from Poland, have you seen this guy??? You want something awesome to represent your country...PUT HIM ON YOUR FLAG! Just look at this guy!!! He has won the World's Strongest Man competition 5 times! He has won 42 strongman competitions, and he fights in mixed martial arts. He can bench press 640 pounds, squat 840 pounds, and deadlift a staggering 915 pounds! PUT THIS GUY ON YOUR FLAGS YOU STUPID POLOCKS! Oh no... I hope he doesn't find out I said that...he would just KILL me.

Description: Red with a white plus sign
At A Glance: This flag says, "Our entire country is just one giant hospital." Well that can't be true! I think a place known for its army knives and holey cheese should have a better flag.
How to fix it: Their new flag should be full of holes, just like Swiss cheese. It should also depict a big Swiss Army Knife as the most important and wonderful thing their country has ever done! Also, just like a Swiss Army Knife, the flag should be useful and have a lot of things in it that it can do besides being just a flag, like maybe it can be a napkin and a cape and a blanket and a bag and a shirt or something.
New Flag:

Country: RUSSIA
Description: Red, white, and blue stripes
At A Glance: Just an out of order French flag. Out of all the flags to copy,  you went after France? I guess it's not as bad as Poland copying Indonesia's flag, but I would never say anything to offend a country that has such a big man as their national symbol. The saddest part of this is knowing that Russia USED to have one of the coolest flags of all time back when they were the Soviet Union. Things were all around better for them back then, they might want to think about going back to the old soviet ways actually. What better way than to start with their flag!?
How to fix it: To fix their flag all Russia has to do is go back to their old flag. The old hammer and sickle flying over the land of Lenin, brings back those comforting cold war memories. To be fair though, in Soviet Russia, flag fixes you!
New Flag:  Old Flag:

Country: LIBERIA
Description: Red and white stripes, blue left corner with a white star
At A Glance: Wo! Hold on just a minute here! I'm calling theft on this one! Sure if you have to steal another country's flag, it might as well be the United States. I don't know what Liberia is known for, (other than stealing flags) but I educated myself and came up with something a bit better for them. Plus people will stop mistaking their country for the USA back when we had one state.
How to fix it: One of the best things about Liberia is their pygmy hippo population! How cute are these little guys? Why not put one on your flag! People will stop thinking about how you stole a flag design from Betsy Ross when they look into these adorable little eyes. Oh Liberia, I can't stay mad at you!!!
New Flag:

Description: Yellow stripe, red stripe and a blue stripe
At A Glance: I think the 3 stripe thing is ridiculously boring and over done but geez Columbia, at least make them the same size! Maybe I should be thankful they did something different from all the other 3 color striped countries? Not sure if that was an accident or on purpose. Either way this has got to go.
How to fix it: It's pretty simple to me. Although the country is well known for its coffee, drugs, and Sofia Vergara, it's already had the perfect symbol waiting for all these years. I would use something we already know and love for its flag.
New Flag:

Country: MEXICO

Description: A green stripe, a red stripe and a white stripe with an eagle sitting on a cactus eating a snake
At A Glance: Are you serious?? An eagle eating a snake sitting on a freaking cactus! That comes from a true story by the way, the Aztecs saw that and built their city on that spot. This is the coolest flag we have. Maybe a little too cool for Mexico but with a badass flag like this, nothing needs to be fixed.
How to fix it: DON'T. CHANGE. A. THING.

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